If you want to be a successful online dater you need to perfect your relationship elevator pitch. I’m a dating coach and the first thing I ask new clients when they come to me is what their elevator pitch is. Almost all of them tell me that they don’t have one. And that’s one of the biggest mistakes you can make when it comes to online dating.
When you’re looking for a job or trying to secure funding for a new business you need to develop an elevator pitch or a short statement that tells people who you are and what your goals are. And in business often having a great elevator pitch makes the difference between getting that perfect job or finding the funding for your business and not being successful. When it comes to online dating you need to apply the same strategy that you would apply to find a job or finding a backer for your business. You need to sell yourself in a short statement that will convince people that they want to know more about you.
In the online dating world, it can be really difficult to stand out. There are thousands of profiles on those sites and getting noticed can be tough. But if you have a great elevator pitch as your title or as your introduction on your profile it will increase the chances that people who are serious about finding a relationship will want to know more about you and will contact you.
A Great Elevator Pitch For Online Dating
There are a few things that every great dating elevator pitch has to have. The first thing is a strong first statement that describes what sets you apart from other people. And this statement should be as specific as possible. Everyone likes to travel, or read, or listen to music. That is not going to stand out. There is a big difference between a statement that starts with “I like to travel.” and a statement that starts with “Last summer I cashed in all of my PTO to take a two week trip to Bali on a meditation retreat and it changed my life”. The first statement is way too generic. The second one is interesting and will get noticed.
Another thing that your elevator pitch needs to have is a specific statement about what you’re looking for when it comes to dating. Don’t be coy and don’t be wishy-washy when it comes to what you’re looking for. If you want to find a relationship that has marriage potential then you need to say that. Or if you’re just looking to date and have fun you should say that. Make it clear what your intentions are so you can attract other people who want the same thing that you want.
Your dating elevator pitch should also include one thing that makes you unique. It could be a unique talent, an unusual hobby, or a funny anecdote about something that highlights your individuality.
If you have been trying to find a partner using online dating sites and you’re not having a lot of luck it might be time for a break. Online dating can sometimes be a little overwhelming. Sending messages constantly only to not get them back can take a toll on your self-esteem. And after a series of disastrous first dates, you might be ready to swear off dating forever and start using cell phone spy software just to find out what went wrong. I went through a period where I was really motivated to find “the one” so I threw myself into online dating. I had 2-3 dates a week every week for about three months.
But most of those first dates never turned into anything. And the ones that led to second or third dates ended after just a few dates. I noticed that I started becoming really critical and picky when I was looking through my online matches. And then I realized I had online dating fatigue. I was so tired of the neverending treadmill of messaging, texting, and meeting for terrible first dates. So I decided it was time for a break. I put my profile on pause and checked out of online dating to get out in the real world.
In a rom-com, this would be the part of the story where I met the love of my life in real life while I was shopping or biking or something like that. But that’s not what happened. All that really happened is that I took a month to reassess what I was looking for and to spend some time with myself. When you are online dating constantly you can start to morph into the person that you think other people will like so that you can have more success dating. And when you do that you can start to lose who you really are. Taking that month off gave me a chance to focus on myself. I got clear about what I was really looking for in a partner. And I gave myself some time to just relax and be myself. During my online dating fatigue induced hiatus I did things like:
See chick flicks
Meet friends for brunch
Get back in a workout routine
Go back to school
Learn to paint with watercolors
Brush up on my cooking skills
Spend quality time at home reading or watching TV
Going for walks
Reconnecting with old friends
Stay off social media and dating sites
And after about a month of spending my time on myself instead of spending all of my free time on dating sites or going out on terrible dates I found that I was ready to start dating again, but with a different set of expectations. This time I was not willing to compromise on what I wanted and I started looking for quality dates instead of lots of dates. And it still took about six months before I met someone I wanted to have a relationship ship. But he was worth waiting for. I’m glad I did a sex offender search first though!